I hope this does not violate any rules.

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private
investigator - Alan Pinkerton - for protection. And that was the beginning
of the Secret Service.

Since that time, federal police authority has grown to a large number of
multi- letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, FEMA, etc.

Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service."

Can't you see them now, these highly trained men and women in their black
outfits with their initials in large white letters across their backs:

"F.A.T.A.S.S."

I feel safer already.

Oh I'm sure you've violated some federal law somewhere. If not you certainly ticked them off !